I have so many things to say that I don’t know where to begin. Some people think I simply want to make noise. I, on the other hand, am of the opinion that I am being drowned out by noise. I also have a tendency to detect patterns in that noise. For example, the hidden suggestions in my wife’s words — which are otherwise clearly just noise meant for camouflage and disinformation. Noise doesn’t have to be sound, and neither do the patterns within it. Children, for instance, can see an entire circus performance in the lazily drifting clouds in the sky. Children are forgiven for that, but when adults do the same, it usually leads to advice to seek an examination and receive a diagnosis. That is why I decided to diagnose myself in advance. Something like a disclaimer: whoever reads me does so at their own risk.

Allow me to introduce myself. Let’s say my name is Ivan Koev.

Since the topic of a circus performance came up by chance, I think the concept corresponds well with the theme of this diary. The things I intend to document could also be seen as a circus — especially if we insist on always looking at life from its cheerful side. Or at least from its tragicomic one. So in this circus there are magicians and clowns, lions and tigers, mice and acrobats, and of course, trainers. There is also an audience, watching what happens on stage with keen interest. I will confide in you that part of the audience consists of actors. Only the directors and producers of the circus hide behind the scenes. Probably because they don’t expect applause.

This performance, whether good or bad, never stops.