This trick is probably as old as the world itself. It’s used everywhere.

I first encountered it in real life during a trip to Istanbul. While my girlfriend and I were walking around the city, a street shoe shiner passed us. Suddenly, one of the brushes fell out of the box on his back. He didn’t hear it hit the ground and kept walking. I, naturally, picked it up, caught up with him, and handed it back. What followed were countless thanks, smiles, and compliments about my kindness from the visibly touched man. He also expressed great joy for my girlfriend, saying how lucky she was to be with such a gentleman. In the end, my shoes were polished—and I left a generous tip.

Why do I think this was intentional? Because two streets later, the exact same thing happened—with another shoe shiner. This time, however, I politely declined the offered service, pointing to my already shiny shoes.

Tuning an opponent to a specific emotional wavelength, placing them into a particular role, and locking them into a stereotypical self-image and pattern of behavior has applications far beyond services and commerce. Achieving this makes the individual far more open to further influence.

In internet forums, an analogue of this scene can easily be staged. For example, an account with a female name and a sexy avatar might provoke men into “proving themselves” to her. This can happen when “help” or a “favor” is requested. People are generally inclined to respond to calls for help—whether out of compassion or a desire to demonstrate their worth. After suggestions start coming in, the person asking for help selects someone (unless that person was chosen in advance). From that moment on, the “favorite” is much more open to emotional and other forms of manipulation.

Humans possess an innate sense of mutual aid, empathy, and positivity—and that is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, manipulative techniques are built precisely on these innate tendencies and exploit them. Being good, supporting a righteous cause, helping others—these are aspirations many people share, and acting on them creates a sense of meaning and fulfillment. But sometimes we must ask ourselves whether what we are being pushed toward truly aligns with our own feelings and criteria.

Typical phrases:

• “Could someone help me?”
• “Would anyone do me a favor?”
• “Are there any real men here at all?”
• “I need help.”
• “I have a problem I can’t solve without someone else’s help.”
• “Would someone help a girl?”
• “People everywhere are so unresponsive—will someone at least help me here?”
• “Let’s be good!” or “Don’t be evil!” (the former slogan of Google)